Today's Sermon: *Nebulisums on the Nutshell
Well I thought I'd grab the pulpit this week and, I don't know, maybe explain some unexplainables. I mean that’s one of the things a good religion is supposed to do right? Of course "they" do it with intentions. Intentions to confuse and frighten and make us coddle up to them. And they do it quite well now don't they. In fact, it is the one and only thing that organized religion does do well. Or needs to do well to be successful.
Well, that and passing around the collection plate.
Say hallelujah!
But we'll have none of that here! Because there really ain't much to explain. And believe it or not, we don't want your money!
And instead of me droning on and on and on like some kind of cultish nut I've put together a little collage of other people's words. Respectable people. And quotable quotes. Nebulisums, if you will, from all types of people. And all smarter and deeper than I. People from all walks of life. Well except for the politicians and clergy. You see, Nebulists are the Libertarians of religion. Some of us are atheists but most are agnostic. We may differ in thought on the little stuff but our general beliefs are simple and the same.

Presented for your consideration…
"Colfax, Placer County- A mysterious light on a church wall that many believed was a divinely inspired image of the Virgin Mary did not appear yesterday amid heavy clouds, seeming to confirm the theory it was merely sunlight shining through a stained-glass window… When the image failed to appear at it's customary time, however, the worshipers trooped out, some in dismay. …Church officials had been considering an investigation to determine whether the appearance of the image, which looked like the outline of the top half of a figure, was a miracle" [San Francisco Chronicle, 11 December 1990 (Chronicle Wire Service)]
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".[Philip K. Dick]
"To recognize that nature has neither a preference for our species nor a bias against it takes only a little courage" ["The Faith Healers" James Randi, Debunker of the paranormal and professional magician]
"Nothing happens in contradiction to nature; only in contradiction to what we know of it." [Agent Scully, "X-Files"]
"In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences." [Robert Ingersoll]
"There is in every village a torch- the teacher; and an extinguisher- the clergyman" [Victor Hugo]
"Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion"[Principal Skinner on the Simpsons. Ep #100, 1994]
See, that was easy to swallow now huh? Here try another chunk!
"What can we say to a man who tells you that he would rather obey God than men, and that therefore he is sure to go to heaven for butchering you? Even the law is impotent against these attacks of rage; it is like reading a court decree to a raving maniac. These fellows are certain that the holy spirit with which they are filled is above the law, that their enthusiasm is the only law they must obey" (Voltaire, 1764)
"Fundamentalism isn't about religion. It's about power." [Salman Rushdie]
"Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense (Hurting yourself is not sinful- just stupid.)" [Robert A. Heinlein]
"I got my butt whipped, didn't I? Well it serves me right for trusting someone who talks about being good all the time!" [Xena: Warrior Princess. Season 4]
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at your side." [Han Solo or was it George Bush]
OK, the Star Wars quote is a little over the top. But only a little and we really needed a Star Wars quote to help reel in those 18-35 year old males. Still I think you get the picture. And I hope you realize that there's room for you in that picture as well!
Which reminds me, for continued inspirational fortification we hope to have a new feature starting next week over in the "clicks" column. It will be called "Notable Nebulisums" ( or something better than that) and should be updated weekly or until people stop saying relevant interesting stuff.
OK, well it seems that God wants to know if you can come out and play! So go on and get out of here! I'll just wait and test you all that much harder after next weeks sermon!! Kidding, kidding. And most Nebulists have wonderful senses of humor too!! We're really quite a wonderful lot!
Anyway, run along now my children. And remember to play nice!

(*Tip of the babushka to atheist quotes)

 

the word was delivered at:
¶ 12:11 AM