Introduction by: Sister Jomama
This weeks sermon comes from Sister AniD2. Now don't let that "sister" tag fool ya any. Like Mo (from last weeks sermon) Sister AniD2 is here as a sinner. In fact she is our A-#1 sinner! Our sinner winner even! Everything from mass murder (insecticide) to having mean hateful thoughts about her neighbors to inciting riots on other message boards. Now Sister A. is not a bad person. But she is often a mad person.. Mad angry that is. And, also like Mo (from last weeks sermon) Sister AniD2 is penance preaching. Penance preaching is a little scam I recently thought up so I don't have to write a sermon every bloody Sunday! And hey.. who knows we may even salvage a few souls along the way. Speaking of which.. Sister AniD2.. Bring it on!

Today’s Sermon: Stress Relief for the Soul
Or
I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do? -Ronnie Shakes
By Sister AniD2
(representing angry musicians and violent video-gamers everywhere)
I get around a lot here in cyberspace and in my travels I’ve built up my own little philosophy on life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness…or at least the pursuit of less anger and stress, so what would be more fitting coming from me than a little stress relief for the soul?

Wandering around the net I’ve found that there are lots of places to go, but only one place to end up… and that’s here. Call it what you want. Blogville. B-Street. The Third Church. They’re all on the same street, in the same town, in the same city and country… on a totally different planet, thank God. Here in cyberspace there’s a place like this for everyone, if they will take the time to look that is…So what’s this got to do with the soul and relieving stress? Nothing. I’m getting to that…

Now for those that know me you’ll know I’ve got two moods. Seething mad is one, and aggravated is the other. That makes for a lot of stress, but it’s not quite what it seems. I figure that everyone pretty much has the same two moods at varying levels of course. You see, when I say I have two moods I don’t mean that I am never happy or content or any number of other words that describe emotions that the human mind, body and soul feel, I simply mean that there’s always gonna be something out there that is not going to go with what you need or want, what you’re saying or what you’re doing or with anything for that matter. Typically that cause for aggravation is other human beings. Admit it… you know what I’m talking about… even when you’re happy there’s always that little nagging thought at the back of your mind whether it’s “I can’t believe who my governor is” or “I have to go to work tomorrow” or “There are dishes to be done” or any number of other things that are a part of daily life… it’s there, and unfortunately will never go away completely… you’re stuck with it… or are you?

That’s where the stress relief comes in. This is the one place where that aggravation melts away if you’ll let it. The serenity of the pews and the calm of the cyber-choir… even the Cyber-Sunday Mimosa/Pancake Breakfast. It’s like a great big mental stress ball, a little stress relief for the soul, and if you squeeze it enough the stress and tension just melt away like the butter on the pancakes off the griddle as Sister Jo Mamma flops ‘em over onto the plates of the hungry parishioners. If you’re lucky you might even get some cyber-maple syrup and bacon with that.

So here’s to that stress ball, squeeze away and while you do, come on in, take your shoes off, sit back and relax, have some breakfast…Let me share with you a well used family grace for such situations…
“Bless the meat, damn the skins, rear back your ears and poke it in… Yay God!”
We don’t waste time in my family… so…
Anyway, in closing come the words of David Letterman, “I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.” Go with that… enjoy some stress relief for the soul… and squeeze in peace.
Amen.

Sister M's closing statement:
Nice job. Liked the Letterman quote!
Now before we pop the champagne and start burning breakfast (and by the way Sister Jomama does not flip flap-jacks) I want to mention that we are still collecting your thoughts and feelings on the Mo Tolerance sermon of last week. If for some very good reason you missed that sermon you may catch up by scrolling down.
Oh-ah was that a champagne pop I just heard? Yep! And like a starting gun it seems.. as half the congregation just took off. And Holy Mimosa.. I believe Sister AniD2 was leading the pack.
I guess breakfast is served!
Digest in peace!


 

the word was delivered at:
¶ 12:09 AM