† The Third Church †

DOWN FROM THE DUMPSTER


CHURCH of the NEBULAS SPIRIT
a point & click religion to save your cyber soul

Mother Inferior & CEO ~ Sister Mary Jomama
Sometimes Substitute.. Sister Mary Q. Contrary


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+ THIS WEEK'S MIXED MESSAGE: +
Food For Thought or Fight?


Sunday, October 12, 2003
  Today's Sermon: You Can't Tell Luggage By It's Cover.

Passport.. check
Clean undies.. check
Credit card.. check
Ummm...
Oh, hello parishioners. My God! Is it Sunday again! Already! Jeezus.
OK.. well now that I've used the lord's name in vain.. twice, I guess I should spew out some sorta sermon here to cover it up. Damn I haven't even checked my Guest Sermon email this week. Lemme give a quick look now... I've been kinda busy you see. Getting ready for the Missionary Postion Holiday Crusade!!
Double damn. Nothing! Come on people. Where are those Sermons?
OK.. Well do you mind if I continue packing while preaching? OK.. Alright.. Umm.. let's say this suit case is your life. Yeah. And let's say your life is a trip. A journey more specifically. You start out with everything all neatly packed. With underwear.. enough for each day. Maybe a little extra. Whatever. You've got it all figured out. What you're gonna wear. What you're gonna need. what you're gonna do. And so you've got your whole trip.. errr.. whole life planned out in your head. You can see it. Sometimes every little detail. Right down to conversations.
Then you take off.
And of course the first thing that happens, customs goes through your stuff. It's no big deal. It's all just routine. But it wasn't in the plan. And now you're stuff's all mixed up.
You begin to wonder.
Then you spend several hours on a plane sitting next to some slightly smelly old lady and not the fascinating photojournalist you'd expected.
And then when you arrive you find your luggage looks like 100 other pieces. And someone's grabbed yours by mistake!
Are you catching my drift here folks?
It ain't ever gonna go like you plan it. But that's OK. In fact that's the way it should be. I mean if things had gone the way I planned I would not be with you here today. I woulda gone with Jim Jones to Jonestown and surely woulda died. Thank the lord I got arrested for being under the influence the night before I was to leave. I'll elaborate on that another day but the point is no matter how hard we plan.. somewhere along the way it just slips outa our control. And sometimes it's all for the best.
All we can really do is hope to be wearing comfortable shoes!
Which reminds me..
Mephistos.. check.
Socks.. check.
See ya all when we get back.
Peace!!!!

 
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Sunday, October 05, 2003
  Today's Sermon: The Missionary Position

The Third Church is goin to England! And in just under 2 weeks. We're calling it the Missionary Position Holiday Crusade. And we're maybe comin' to your town.
Well if your town happens to be Huddersfield, UK.
We chose the quaint township of Huddersfield because.. well see for yourselves. And this. This. And especially this! I mean, really, it's got everything!
Anyway.. of course the church here will still be open but there will probably be no sermons posted until after we get back. But feel free to hang out anyway and wander through the archives. Do some preachin or have a discussion in the Dogma House. Or leave your mark in the Good Book. We'll try to get bingo up and running before we spit.. but no promises!
Just stay outa my stash and don't burn the place down!
Amen!!
 
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the Dogma House
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Clicks to church-member services:

An eye for an eye
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His mysterious ways
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Give us Barabbas
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Clicks that might do some good:

Feed THE PEOPLE!

Feed THE ANIMALS!

Feed the people to the animals (coming soon!)

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Clicks to Other One True Religions

TEMPLE OF THE B. J.
Oh! You all have such filthy minds!

RELIGION X
Only because I forgot it's name.

LANDOVER BAPTISTS
The mother of all One True Religions

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Holy Archives!
07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003 / 08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003 / 09/01/2003 - 10/01/2003 / 10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003 / 11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003 / 12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004 / 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 / 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 / 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 / 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 / 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 / 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 / 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 / 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 / 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 / 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 / 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 / 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 / 05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009 /




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