CHURCH of the NEBULAS SPIRIT
..................................................
Monday, January 31, 2005
Shit Happens!
The world is a tough place, it’s hard, it’s cruel, it could be a lot better, and yeah, it could be a lot worse... nothing is perfect, there's no chance of that cause Shit Happens... lots of it.
It’s basically filled with four kinds of people:
1. Jerks who want to rule the world. (destroy destroy rule rule rule)
2. Jerks who don’t care about the world (ignore ignore ignore, it’ll go away)
3. People who want to help and really try to make the world a better place. (I can make a difference, I’ll do it)
4. The type people who have tried and tried and tried and just find it hard to do it anymore, but they never give up hope… we can and hopefully will eventually win back the world. (I wish that it’d change because it really sucks, I don’t know what more I can do, but I’ll keep hoping and trying when I can.)
Now I have to say if you’re a member of the congregation of The Third Church you’re probably either in the third or fourth group. Come on face it, Bush isn’t gonna be reading this… so number one is out… and if you’re here reading this you can’t fit into number two anyway.
Guess the moral of today’s sermon is this:
Just remember, if the world didn’t suck…
We’d all fall off.
Keep your head up, and keep on truckin’. Enjoy your week.
AMEN
(0) The Signup Sheet
the word was delivered at:
.........................The world is a tough place, it’s hard, it’s cruel, it could be a lot better, and yeah, it could be a lot worse... nothing is perfect, there's no chance of that cause Shit Happens... lots of it.
It’s basically filled with four kinds of people:
1. Jerks who want to rule the world. (destroy destroy rule rule rule)
2. Jerks who don’t care about the world (ignore ignore ignore, it’ll go away)
3. People who want to help and really try to make the world a better place. (I can make a difference, I’ll do it)
4. The type people who have tried and tried and tried and just find it hard to do it anymore, but they never give up hope… we can and hopefully will eventually win back the world. (I wish that it’d change because it really sucks, I don’t know what more I can do, but I’ll keep hoping and trying when I can.)
Now I have to say if you’re a member of the congregation of The Third Church you’re probably either in the third or fourth group. Come on face it, Bush isn’t gonna be reading this… so number one is out… and if you’re here reading this you can’t fit into number two anyway.
Guess the moral of today’s sermon is this:
Just remember, if the world didn’t suck…
We’d all fall off.
Keep your head up, and keep on truckin’. Enjoy your week.
AMEN
(0) The Signup Sheet
the word was delivered at:
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Theory of Relativity with a Third Church Twist
You Can’t Pick Your Family…. Or Can You?
There won’t be any science lesson with the sermon this morning, hopefully you weren’t expecting one.
Today we’re going to be talking about family. Traditionally, I suppose it is true that you can not pick your family. I mean you’re born into it, so it’s pretty much a “you’re stuck with what you get hope you get a good one” situation. Or is it? That’s the question… the true $60,000,000 question. Here at the church we firmly believe that there is no such thing as being stuck with the cards you’re dealt. You can make your own fortune and we’re not just talking clever gambling here! You truly can choose your family by creating a network of individuals with similar beliefs.
A classic example of the “create a family craze” that swept the church comes from our lovely Fricken Bunch. Most of them haven’t ever met, hell most of ‘em don’t even live on the same continent but they’re as much of a family as any could be, if not more! I know for a fact that they talk more and spend more time together than any blood relations would! They all care for each other just as much and then there’s the obligatory names like Sis, Bro, Mom, Pop… you know, all that jive. It’s even got to the point of Fricken-in-Laws. Now if THAT’s not family I don’t know what is!
Family is what you make, not what it makes you. Keep your blood family, make your soul family… members may come and go across both lines perhaps you’ve got a member of your blood family who is also in your soul family, perhaps you don’t, either way is acceptable and fine. The point is family is “pickable” and you have the choice to make your own “Bunch”. Your life will be better for it!
So today the moral of the sermon is indeed that family is important, necessary, wonderful, important, makes ya laugh, makes ya cry, sometimes scary, and frequently dysfunctional… but ya can’t live without ‘em!
Now it’s about time to end this little talk with a simple “prayer” up to the gods of the pancake breakfast so here goes…
Bless the meat, damn the skins… rear back your ears and poke it in! Yay God!
AMEN
(0) The Signup Sheet
the word was delivered at:
.........................You Can’t Pick Your Family…. Or Can You?
There won’t be any science lesson with the sermon this morning, hopefully you weren’t expecting one.
Today we’re going to be talking about family. Traditionally, I suppose it is true that you can not pick your family. I mean you’re born into it, so it’s pretty much a “you’re stuck with what you get hope you get a good one” situation. Or is it? That’s the question… the true $60,000,000 question. Here at the church we firmly believe that there is no such thing as being stuck with the cards you’re dealt. You can make your own fortune and we’re not just talking clever gambling here! You truly can choose your family by creating a network of individuals with similar beliefs.
A classic example of the “create a family craze” that swept the church comes from our lovely Fricken Bunch. Most of them haven’t ever met, hell most of ‘em don’t even live on the same continent but they’re as much of a family as any could be, if not more! I know for a fact that they talk more and spend more time together than any blood relations would! They all care for each other just as much and then there’s the obligatory names like Sis, Bro, Mom, Pop… you know, all that jive. It’s even got to the point of Fricken-in-Laws. Now if THAT’s not family I don’t know what is!
Family is what you make, not what it makes you. Keep your blood family, make your soul family… members may come and go across both lines perhaps you’ve got a member of your blood family who is also in your soul family, perhaps you don’t, either way is acceptable and fine. The point is family is “pickable” and you have the choice to make your own “Bunch”. Your life will be better for it!
So today the moral of the sermon is indeed that family is important, necessary, wonderful, important, makes ya laugh, makes ya cry, sometimes scary, and frequently dysfunctional… but ya can’t live without ‘em!
Now it’s about time to end this little talk with a simple “prayer” up to the gods of the pancake breakfast so here goes…
Bless the meat, damn the skins… rear back your ears and poke it in! Yay God!
AMEN
(0) The Signup Sheet
the word was delivered at:
Thursday, January 20, 2005
+Welcome To The Third Church Revival Madness Week+
It’s been a long while since we’ve held church “all proper like” here, or as “proper like” as it gets at The Third Church, and we figure it’s time to get into some of that old time religion once again. Lots of stuff has happened since the last sermon… and poor old Vishnu’s arms are getting tired. Thought we’d give him a break for a while. So sit back, take your shoes off, relax and welcome to our good old fashioned revival!
Since your cyber soul is probably in need of some saving, especially considering that it’s been unable to participate in some good old fashioned “www” confessing for a while let’s see what we can cook up.
First off, the pancake breakfast is gonna be starting up again so make sure to get here good and early and get ‘em while they’re hot off the griddle! As one of parishioners said “consider our pancakes here as fast food for the soul. Only takes a few minutes for Sister JoMamma to cook ‘em, and even less for you folks to eat ‘em!” Welcome back to all the old members, and hope to see you in high spirits this year as much as any other! Don’t forget to pass the collection plate round every once in a while… don’t know what we’re collecting but it should be and probably will be something, anything from pocket lint to used movie and bus tickets, anyway…
Secondly, for those of you just joining us a big welcome! Don’t worry, this church isn’t like any other. We won’t be asking you for money or trying to con you into doing anything. You don’t have to join or pray to any new gods (Vishnu was just here cause he’s a good BBQ chef). You don’t have to dress up or show up at the church on time… none of that. Just pop in when you want, however you want, and stay for as long or short as you want. Add anything you want to say, be a guest on the pulpit and write a sermon… anything goes here at the Third Church.
Lately things have been pretty hectic around the world. It’s a bit stressful, but that’s an understatement, it’s been freaking insane what’s been going on literally from wars to famine to firestorms, hell, Bush was re-elected in the US and that’s a disaster if we’ve ever heard one! You know with the state of things it’d probably be easier just to bend over, grab your ankles and kiss your own asses good-bye, but that’s not the way of the church here… no siree bob! We’re gonna stand up, or more likely sit down and eat our pancakes, and show them all who is boss. Here we’re bound and determined to have a good time with good company! Let’s let the new Third Church year begin… be reborn today. We won’t even charge ya for it!
Say Hallelujah!
AMEN.
(0) The Signup Sheet
the word was delivered at:
.........................It’s been a long while since we’ve held church “all proper like” here, or as “proper like” as it gets at The Third Church, and we figure it’s time to get into some of that old time religion once again. Lots of stuff has happened since the last sermon… and poor old Vishnu’s arms are getting tired. Thought we’d give him a break for a while. So sit back, take your shoes off, relax and welcome to our good old fashioned revival!
Since your cyber soul is probably in need of some saving, especially considering that it’s been unable to participate in some good old fashioned “www” confessing for a while let’s see what we can cook up.
First off, the pancake breakfast is gonna be starting up again so make sure to get here good and early and get ‘em while they’re hot off the griddle! As one of parishioners said “consider our pancakes here as fast food for the soul. Only takes a few minutes for Sister JoMamma to cook ‘em, and even less for you folks to eat ‘em!” Welcome back to all the old members, and hope to see you in high spirits this year as much as any other! Don’t forget to pass the collection plate round every once in a while… don’t know what we’re collecting but it should be and probably will be something, anything from pocket lint to used movie and bus tickets, anyway…
Secondly, for those of you just joining us a big welcome! Don’t worry, this church isn’t like any other. We won’t be asking you for money or trying to con you into doing anything. You don’t have to join or pray to any new gods (Vishnu was just here cause he’s a good BBQ chef). You don’t have to dress up or show up at the church on time… none of that. Just pop in when you want, however you want, and stay for as long or short as you want. Add anything you want to say, be a guest on the pulpit and write a sermon… anything goes here at the Third Church.
Lately things have been pretty hectic around the world. It’s a bit stressful, but that’s an understatement, it’s been freaking insane what’s been going on literally from wars to famine to firestorms, hell, Bush was re-elected in the US and that’s a disaster if we’ve ever heard one! You know with the state of things it’d probably be easier just to bend over, grab your ankles and kiss your own asses good-bye, but that’s not the way of the church here… no siree bob! We’re gonna stand up, or more likely sit down and eat our pancakes, and show them all who is boss. Here we’re bound and determined to have a good time with good company! Let’s let the new Third Church year begin… be reborn today. We won’t even charge ya for it!
Say Hallelujah!
AMEN.
(0) The Signup Sheet
the word was delivered at:
