CHURCH of the NEBULAS SPIRIT
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Sunday, August 31, 2003
Today's Sermon: Holy Shit It's George Carlin!
Introduction by: Sister Mary J.
This week's sermon comes to us via link. I believe most of us know Mr. Carlin. I know he was a great influence on me. I hope he influences and inspires you all too!! Just click on this here cross + and be whisked away!
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.........................Introduction by: Sister Mary J.
This week's sermon comes to us via link. I believe most of us know Mr. Carlin. I know he was a great influence on me. I hope he influences and inspires you all too!! Just click on this here cross + and be whisked away!
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the word was delivered at:
Sunday, August 24, 2003
Today's Sermon: Worshiping Flames
Introduction by: Sister Mary
OK.. this week's sermon is a long one. It is from a dude I do not know. I don't know anything about his church (except what he says here). All he and I have in common is the fact that we are "burners". And that's enough for me.
Burning Man is taking place this week in the Nevada desert. It is an awesome week long event that everyone should experience at least once in a lifetime.
Skip the sermon if you want (shh.. I did) but check out B.M.'s website!! And then make the pilgrimage. It is both heaven and hell. It is grotesquely beautiful. And it is truly a spiritual experience of epic proportions!
It's all your's Randy!
A PASTOR ON THE PLAYA?
Why I Go To Burning Man
by Randy Bohlender
I've noticed a thread on the e-playa recently...one where people are swapping stories about what they tell non-burners about Burning Man. Part of the discussion has centered on trying to explain why we go to the Burn. I've faced this question more than my share of times. To a certain extent, I fit the mold. I'm an adventurer. I love travel. I have an auxiliary hole in my head from which dangles the obligatory gold hoop. At first glance, I meld into the Burning Man crowd quite well. Still, if my college graduating class would have had the foresight to vote, I would have probably been voted "Least Likely to Burn".
It's not my appearance that makes me an unlikely burner, it's my paradigm. Prepare your hearts for a shock, gang. I'm a born-again Christian. Even stranger (or some would say even worse), I'm a pastor...have been for years. I've made it my life, and will continue to do so.
2002 was my second trip to Burning Man. Back in 2000, acting on what we would call prompting from God, a team of five of us brought 5,000 bottles of water to give away. It was our way of making a prophetic declaration of what God wants to do in people's lives; bring water to the dry places. We were wonderfully received - burners are great hosts. It was more than a fluke that Renee Roberts was shooting footage for her documentary Gifting It...we spent a good hour on the playa discussing giving, altruism and art. This year, I returned with a larger camp...five people became twelve, one vehicle became three, and five thousand bottles of water became ten thousand. We spent the week gifting water to fellow burners, as our practical demonstration of the love of God. A few folks differed with our philosophy, but none argued about the practicality of the gift, and all were grateful receivers. We became Burners and lived among friends for the week.
As we talked with passing Burners and word got out that "the Christians" were camped at the corner of 225 & Forecastle, we were frequently approached by pleasant people with an innocent question: "Why are you guys here?" It was never asked in anger...just curiosity. People honestly wondered why we would choose to spend so much effort and resources to give to a group that, at least on the surface, seemed to be proudly at odds with much of what the church has stood for down over the years. Our standard answer was "to show you God loves you in a practical way!" Driving the 2200 miles home, covered in dust, I asked myself the same question, and came to the following greater conclusions.
Uhhh-ohh.. gee.. we lost Randy. And just when it was getting good too! Oh well here's his link if you wanna go there.
But me.. I think I'd rather just call it a sermon and burn one!
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.........................Introduction by: Sister Mary
OK.. this week's sermon is a long one. It is from a dude I do not know. I don't know anything about his church (except what he says here). All he and I have in common is the fact that we are "burners". And that's enough for me.
Burning Man is taking place this week in the Nevada desert. It is an awesome week long event that everyone should experience at least once in a lifetime.
Skip the sermon if you want (shh.. I did) but check out B.M.'s website!! And then make the pilgrimage. It is both heaven and hell. It is grotesquely beautiful. And it is truly a spiritual experience of epic proportions!
It's all your's Randy!
A PASTOR ON THE PLAYA?
Why I Go To Burning Man
by Randy Bohlender
I've noticed a thread on the e-playa recently...one where people are swapping stories about what they tell non-burners about Burning Man. Part of the discussion has centered on trying to explain why we go to the Burn. I've faced this question more than my share of times. To a certain extent, I fit the mold. I'm an adventurer. I love travel. I have an auxiliary hole in my head from which dangles the obligatory gold hoop. At first glance, I meld into the Burning Man crowd quite well. Still, if my college graduating class would have had the foresight to vote, I would have probably been voted "Least Likely to Burn".
It's not my appearance that makes me an unlikely burner, it's my paradigm. Prepare your hearts for a shock, gang. I'm a born-again Christian. Even stranger (or some would say even worse), I'm a pastor...have been for years. I've made it my life, and will continue to do so.
2002 was my second trip to Burning Man. Back in 2000, acting on what we would call prompting from God, a team of five of us brought 5,000 bottles of water to give away. It was our way of making a prophetic declaration of what God wants to do in people's lives; bring water to the dry places. We were wonderfully received - burners are great hosts. It was more than a fluke that Renee Roberts was shooting footage for her documentary Gifting It...we spent a good hour on the playa discussing giving, altruism and art. This year, I returned with a larger camp...five people became twelve, one vehicle became three, and five thousand bottles of water became ten thousand. We spent the week gifting water to fellow burners, as our practical demonstration of the love of God. A few folks differed with our philosophy, but none argued about the practicality of the gift, and all were grateful receivers. We became Burners and lived among friends for the week.
As we talked with passing Burners and word got out that "the Christians" were camped at the corner of 225 & Forecastle, we were frequently approached by pleasant people with an innocent question: "Why are you guys here?" It was never asked in anger...just curiosity. People honestly wondered why we would choose to spend so much effort and resources to give to a group that, at least on the surface, seemed to be proudly at odds with much of what the church has stood for down over the years. Our standard answer was "to show you God loves you in a practical way!" Driving the 2200 miles home, covered in dust, I asked myself the same question, and came to the following greater conclusions.
Uhhh-ohh.. gee.. we lost Randy. And just when it was getting good too! Oh well here's his link if you wanna go there.
But me.. I think I'd rather just call it a sermon and burn one!
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the word was delivered at:
Sunday, August 17, 2003
Today's Sermon: A Layman Speaks
Introduction by: Sister Mary Jomama
I'd like to introduce Joe. Joe was the only applicant for this weeks Open Pulpit. You will note that Joe is understandably a skeptic. You will also note that Joe is extremely honest and fiercely loyal.
Take it away Joe..
I'm Joe. I'm the swamper over at the Boob Tube Bar on the Outskirts of Blogville. Been in that position for 2 years now. It's steady work. And I like the flex hours. I can go in anytime between 2am & 6am. I vacuum the floor and clean the restrooms. Sometimes I do small repair jobs. There's a cot in the back. I often just sleep there afterwards. I also can listen to the juke box for free while I work.
So how the hell did I end up on this week's guest pulpit? Well, let me put that answer in the form of a sermon.
My travels around Blogville had often led me past the dumpster and this here Third Church. (I don't drive. I bicycle.) Eventually time and curiosity caused the good Sistah and myself to meet. I told her up front that I didn't belong to any organized religion but that I did strongly believe in the existence of heaven & hell. And most certainly in God & the devil. I told her that I found her hippie-dippy teachings to be quite silly and dated (I mean, digging up Mr. Natural, really!). Instead of defending her beliefs or throwing me out even, she asked me if I played Diablo II?
I told her of course I did.
From the first moment I could tell there was something different about playing with The Sis. She made me see the game in a whole new light. We played a kinder, gentler & ultimately deadlier DII. She showed me the sweet soothing side of violence. Something completely contrary to my brutish nature. It was more than aesthetic. It was truly religious!
Anyway we play a couple of times a week now. And I've been coming to this here church every Sunday since then too. Don't know why. The two just seem to mesh well. A double DII with a church chaser.
So I'm a kind-of convert.
I mean -I still think it's a flimsy stupid-ass religious philosophy but I will fight to the death any fucker who tries to deny them the right to preach it.
So ummm -Say hallelujah or something!
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the word was delivered at:
.........................Introduction by: Sister Mary Jomama
I'd like to introduce Joe. Joe was the only applicant for this weeks Open Pulpit. You will note that Joe is understandably a skeptic. You will also note that Joe is extremely honest and fiercely loyal.
Take it away Joe..
I'm Joe. I'm the swamper over at the Boob Tube Bar on the Outskirts of Blogville. Been in that position for 2 years now. It's steady work. And I like the flex hours. I can go in anytime between 2am & 6am. I vacuum the floor and clean the restrooms. Sometimes I do small repair jobs. There's a cot in the back. I often just sleep there afterwards. I also can listen to the juke box for free while I work.
So how the hell did I end up on this week's guest pulpit? Well, let me put that answer in the form of a sermon.
My travels around Blogville had often led me past the dumpster and this here Third Church. (I don't drive. I bicycle.) Eventually time and curiosity caused the good Sistah and myself to meet. I told her up front that I didn't belong to any organized religion but that I did strongly believe in the existence of heaven & hell. And most certainly in God & the devil. I told her that I found her hippie-dippy teachings to be quite silly and dated (I mean, digging up Mr. Natural, really!). Instead of defending her beliefs or throwing me out even, she asked me if I played Diablo II?
I told her of course I did.
From the first moment I could tell there was something different about playing with The Sis. She made me see the game in a whole new light. We played a kinder, gentler & ultimately deadlier DII. She showed me the sweet soothing side of violence. Something completely contrary to my brutish nature. It was more than aesthetic. It was truly religious!
Anyway we play a couple of times a week now. And I've been coming to this here church every Sunday since then too. Don't know why. The two just seem to mesh well. A double DII with a church chaser.
So I'm a kind-of convert.
I mean -I still think it's a flimsy stupid-ass religious philosophy but I will fight to the death any fucker who tries to deny them the right to preach it.
So ummm -Say hallelujah or something!
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the word was delivered at:
Sunday, August 10, 2003
Today's Sermon: *Nebulisums on the Nutshell
Well I thought I'd grab the pulpit this week and, I don't know, maybe explain some unexplainables. I mean that’s one of the things a good religion is supposed to do right? Of course "they" do it with intentions. Intentions to confuse and frighten and make us coddle up to them. And they do it quite well now don't they. In fact, it is the one and only thing that organized religion does do well. Or needs to do well to be successful.
Well, that and passing around the collection plate.
Say hallelujah!
But we'll have none of that here! Because there really ain't much to explain. And believe it or not, we don't want your money!
And instead of me droning on and on and on like some kind of cultish nut I've put together a little collage of other people's words. Respectable people. And quotable quotes. Nebulisums, if you will, from all types of people. And all smarter and deeper than I. People from all walks of life. Well except for the politicians and clergy. You see, Nebulists are the Libertarians of religion. Some of us are atheists but most are agnostic. We may differ in thought on the little stuff but our general beliefs are simple and the same.
Presented for your consideration…
"Colfax, Placer County- A mysterious light on a church wall that many believed was a divinely inspired image of the Virgin Mary did not appear yesterday amid heavy clouds, seeming to confirm the theory it was merely sunlight shining through a stained-glass window… When the image failed to appear at it's customary time, however, the worshipers trooped out, some in dismay. …Church officials had been considering an investigation to determine whether the appearance of the image, which looked like the outline of the top half of a figure, was a miracle" [San Francisco Chronicle, 11 December 1990 (Chronicle Wire Service)]
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".[Philip K. Dick]
"To recognize that nature has neither a preference for our species nor a bias against it takes only a little courage" ["The Faith Healers" James Randi, Debunker of the paranormal and professional magician]
"Nothing happens in contradiction to nature; only in contradiction to what we know of it." [Agent Scully, "X-Files"]
"In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences." [Robert Ingersoll]
"There is in every village a torch- the teacher; and an extinguisher- the clergyman" [Victor Hugo]
"Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion"[Principal Skinner on the Simpsons. Ep #100, 1994]
See, that was easy to swallow now huh? Here try another chunk!
"What can we say to a man who tells you that he would rather obey God than men, and that therefore he is sure to go to heaven for butchering you? Even the law is impotent against these attacks of rage; it is like reading a court decree to a raving maniac. These fellows are certain that the holy spirit with which they are filled is above the law, that their enthusiasm is the only law they must obey" (Voltaire, 1764)
"Fundamentalism isn't about religion. It's about power." [Salman Rushdie]
"Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense (Hurting yourself is not sinful- just stupid.)" [Robert A. Heinlein]
"I got my butt whipped, didn't I? Well it serves me right for trusting someone who talks about being good all the time!" [Xena: Warrior Princess. Season 4]
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at your side." [Han Solo or was it George Bush]
OK, the Star Wars quote is a little over the top. But only a little and we really needed a Star Wars quote to help reel in those 18-35 year old males. Still I think you get the picture. And I hope you realize that there's room for you in that picture as well!
Which reminds me, for continued inspirational fortification we hope to have a new feature starting next week over in the "clicks" column. It will be called "Notable Nebulisums" ( or something better than that) and should be updated weekly or until people stop saying relevant interesting stuff.
OK, well it seems that God wants to know if you can come out and play! So go on and get out of here! I'll just wait and test you all that much harder after next weeks sermon!! Kidding, kidding. And most Nebulists have wonderful senses of humor too!! We're really quite a wonderful lot!
Anyway, run along now my children. And remember to play nice!
(*Tip of the babushka to atheist quotes)
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the word was delivered at:
.........................Well I thought I'd grab the pulpit this week and, I don't know, maybe explain some unexplainables. I mean that’s one of the things a good religion is supposed to do right? Of course "they" do it with intentions. Intentions to confuse and frighten and make us coddle up to them. And they do it quite well now don't they. In fact, it is the one and only thing that organized religion does do well. Or needs to do well to be successful.
Well, that and passing around the collection plate.
Say hallelujah!
But we'll have none of that here! Because there really ain't much to explain. And believe it or not, we don't want your money!
And instead of me droning on and on and on like some kind of cultish nut I've put together a little collage of other people's words. Respectable people. And quotable quotes. Nebulisums, if you will, from all types of people. And all smarter and deeper than I. People from all walks of life. Well except for the politicians and clergy. You see, Nebulists are the Libertarians of religion. Some of us are atheists but most are agnostic. We may differ in thought on the little stuff but our general beliefs are simple and the same.
Presented for your consideration…
"Colfax, Placer County- A mysterious light on a church wall that many believed was a divinely inspired image of the Virgin Mary did not appear yesterday amid heavy clouds, seeming to confirm the theory it was merely sunlight shining through a stained-glass window… When the image failed to appear at it's customary time, however, the worshipers trooped out, some in dismay. …Church officials had been considering an investigation to determine whether the appearance of the image, which looked like the outline of the top half of a figure, was a miracle" [San Francisco Chronicle, 11 December 1990 (Chronicle Wire Service)]
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".[Philip K. Dick]
"To recognize that nature has neither a preference for our species nor a bias against it takes only a little courage" ["The Faith Healers" James Randi, Debunker of the paranormal and professional magician]
"Nothing happens in contradiction to nature; only in contradiction to what we know of it." [Agent Scully, "X-Files"]
"In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences." [Robert Ingersoll]
"There is in every village a torch- the teacher; and an extinguisher- the clergyman" [Victor Hugo]
"Prayer has no place in the public schools, just like facts have no place in organized religion"[Principal Skinner on the Simpsons. Ep #100, 1994]
See, that was easy to swallow now huh? Here try another chunk!
"What can we say to a man who tells you that he would rather obey God than men, and that therefore he is sure to go to heaven for butchering you? Even the law is impotent against these attacks of rage; it is like reading a court decree to a raving maniac. These fellows are certain that the holy spirit with which they are filled is above the law, that their enthusiasm is the only law they must obey" (Voltaire, 1764)
"Fundamentalism isn't about religion. It's about power." [Salman Rushdie]
"Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense (Hurting yourself is not sinful- just stupid.)" [Robert A. Heinlein]
"I got my butt whipped, didn't I? Well it serves me right for trusting someone who talks about being good all the time!" [Xena: Warrior Princess. Season 4]
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at your side." [Han Solo or was it George Bush]
OK, the Star Wars quote is a little over the top. But only a little and we really needed a Star Wars quote to help reel in those 18-35 year old males. Still I think you get the picture. And I hope you realize that there's room for you in that picture as well!
Which reminds me, for continued inspirational fortification we hope to have a new feature starting next week over in the "clicks" column. It will be called "Notable Nebulisums" ( or something better than that) and should be updated weekly or until people stop saying relevant interesting stuff.
OK, well it seems that God wants to know if you can come out and play! So go on and get out of here! I'll just wait and test you all that much harder after next weeks sermon!! Kidding, kidding. And most Nebulists have wonderful senses of humor too!! We're really quite a wonderful lot!
Anyway, run along now my children. And remember to play nice!
(*Tip of the babushka to atheist quotes)
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Sunday, August 03, 2003
Todays Sermon: He's Back!
Introduction: by Sister Mary Jomama
We are proud to have as our guest speaker this week an icon among icons!! A guru among gurus!! He dropped acid with Tim Leary. Organized the Natural Is Nude march to City Hall in 1969! And was arrested 12 times for fraudulent lewdness yet NEVER convicted! Let's give a big Third Church Hallelujah for…
Mr. Natural!
…and I get the pancake breakfast for free too.. right?!! OK!!..
Oh! Greetings my children. I am Mr. Natural and I'm all that stuff that the lady with the glasses just said about me.. and more. Quite true.. I was a damn fine guru in the 60's. I was also a car salesman in the 70's. A motivational speaker in the 80's & a Cable TV installer in the 90's. Then at the millennium I had an epiphany (and a DUI which caused me to loose my driver's license and subsequently my job. Ahemm.. though I do happen to have a couple of cable boxes that fell off the truck. They're for sale.. see me after the sermon. *wink*) Where was I… Oh yeah.. I had an epiphany after having a vision.. well it was really more of a flashback… gee don’t get lost now
Another mimosa here!
Oh! found your way back did you!? Hmmm.. wasn't quite expecting that. Alright then…
So I had this blurred visioned epiphany kind of thing and I see that the human race is still fucked up as ever. With all the same moral, spiritual and mental torment that went down in the 60s. And I say to myself, "Hot diggity doggie! I'm back in business!!".
And that's pretty much how I got my "calling" back. Praise Allah!
Holy guacamole! Look at the time! Whelp gotta catch my bus.
Sooo.. here's my card 'case you need my help.. and you do!!
Tootles and remember…
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the word was delivered at:
.........................Introduction: by Sister Mary Jomama
We are proud to have as our guest speaker this week an icon among icons!! A guru among gurus!! He dropped acid with Tim Leary. Organized the Natural Is Nude march to City Hall in 1969! And was arrested 12 times for fraudulent lewdness yet NEVER convicted! Let's give a big Third Church Hallelujah for…
Mr. Natural!
…and I get the pancake breakfast for free too.. right?!! OK!!..
Oh! Greetings my children. I am Mr. Natural and I'm all that stuff that the lady with the glasses just said about me.. and more. Quite true.. I was a damn fine guru in the 60's. I was also a car salesman in the 70's. A motivational speaker in the 80's & a Cable TV installer in the 90's. Then at the millennium I had an epiphany (and a DUI which caused me to loose my driver's license and subsequently my job. Ahemm.. though I do happen to have a couple of cable boxes that fell off the truck. They're for sale.. see me after the sermon. *wink*) Where was I… Oh yeah.. I had an epiphany after having a vision.. well it was really more of a flashback… gee don’t get lost now
Another mimosa here!
Oh! found your way back did you!? Hmmm.. wasn't quite expecting that. Alright then…
So I had this blurred visioned epiphany kind of thing and I see that the human race is still fucked up as ever. With all the same moral, spiritual and mental torment that went down in the 60s. And I say to myself, "Hot diggity doggie! I'm back in business!!".
And that's pretty much how I got my "calling" back. Praise Allah!
Holy guacamole! Look at the time! Whelp gotta catch my bus.
Sooo.. here's my card 'case you need my help.. and you do!!
Tootles and remember…
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